I’m so fucking confused right now, my mind is like a cluster fuck of shit… So Tuesday night I hung out with jesse… it was awkward but good he was acting like he wanted to be in my life again so I invited him over and he pulled the same bs line he usually does so I was like whatever do you just want me to take you home and give you your stuff then he was like I guess cause you don’t want to drive stoned. so I pull in his driveway and hes all do you even have the stuff and I’m like yep in my back seat he goes okay is this it me ‘idk look’ him ‘nice o fuck wait wheres my bracelet come on man my grandmother gave that to me’ me ‘o fuck here’ take it off my wrist and give it to him. him ‘thanks, it was good to see you, have a good night’ gets out of the car, I leave as I’m leaving I start crying realizing its over so I get about 5 maybe 10 mins away and text him saying I’m sorry its just that when he texted me earlier I thought he wanted to fix things and that I still have feelings for him so until he figures shit out I can’t anymore. he never said anything so once I got home I texted him again saying clearly you don’t feel the same I’m just gonna get out of your life like you asked later. he replies with a ‘I’m sorry” which made me so damn mad I lost it saying I don’t care how he feels anymore and that I deserve better yadda yadda he comes back with a wow your fuckin tapped then I go off more saying excuse me ? you can’t sit there and tell me that you care when your actions scream that you don’t jess I want you and only you so you need to tell me right now is there anything left here cause if not I’m letting go’ he never replied then the wednesday I was with my friends from the valley and she wanted to get weed so I gave her his number she texted him and he had no idea I was even with her we met him at the gym and it was so awkward like he expected me to say something to him but I didn’t then we got back to my place and em texted him asking him to match up he was all like sure where and em was like come to the city he said ok where at she said averys hes like kk then he asked her if I would drive him home for 10 bucks em told him I was out and he didn’t reply so she texted him again asking if he still wanted to match up and he was all I have no way, conveniently after em said I wasn’t home, so em was like well aves on her way back from dans now and were going to sackville anyways we can meet you if you want he never answered then em messaged him again with ?? and he goes ok so we go and meet him he gets in my car in the back and hes like mega flirting with me, hes telling me where I have to go and I’m driving and I say ‘why do I feel like I’ve been here before, hes like I’ve taken you up here a few times. then he brings up this waterfall we should all go to and were like nah at first but then I’m super baked and I’m like where is it he goes lucasville road I was like aight will you drive there though he said sure so we go and try and find this water fall him and I are laughing and talking and stuff then we ask him if he will drive to windsor and hes like well who are you going to meet (wanting to know if its a guy) ems like my mom so he pushes my seat back ands like if I’m driving I’m getting comfy. we stop at his place so he can grab something and drop shit off then were driving to windsor chatting laughing hes all smiles shit feels normal… then we drop them off and its just me and him I apologize for what i said on tuesday night and he goes I don’t even remember then explains why he didn’t answer and shit so I ask him bluntly what happened and hes all ‘between us ?’ me ‘yes’ him ‘I don’t know’ me ‘well is there anything left here because if not I’m giving up’ hes like ‘I don’t know’ me ‘you don’t even care’ him ‘I do care but everyone else walks out on me so I’m not surprised’ me ‘I didn’t walk out on you you walked out on me’ he doesn’t say anything me ‘do you miss me ?’ him ‘everyday’ me ‘do you still care’ him ‘you already asked me that but yeah I do’ me ‘well then do you want to fix things’ him ‘I don’t know’ me ‘how do you not know’ he doesn’t say anything so we sit in silence for a while and then I’m like ‘look I don’t want anyone else but you in that context and if you don’t feel the same you need to tell me so I can move on I’ve been waiting a month for you its not fair to keep doing this to me’ then I follow that by saying ‘I told you when all this started I wasn’t going to let you go without a fight’ he smiled and was like ‘i know’ silence for a bit then I’m like ‘I wish you would just tell me how you fucking feel for once’ him ‘I don’t know how I feel that’s the problem’ me ‘well if you miss me and still care and are willing to spend time with me that means there’s something there I think your just afraid of it because you’re scared I’m going to hurt you which I’m not I would never walk out on you’ nothings said he pulls in his driveway puts it in park and says ‘have a good night’ me ‘yep’ he gets out of the car and just fucking walks away.. so I text him once I’m off his road saying ‘you have till sunday to tell me how you feel or I’m gone’ then I follow that with ‘cause we could just start over have a fresh start if that’s what you want then tell me, if not let me move on’ he never said anything so today I texted him and said ‘not even going to say anything’ never said a word I’M SO FUCKING CONFUSED. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW. actually no I know whats going on hes enjoying partying and doesn’t want to stop cause its still at its ‘fun’ stage and once hes bored with it he wants to be able to come back to me but honestly its going to be too late….. someone tell me what they think is going on ?